It can't seriously be that difficult!
by watawatwat
Summary: As part of the kira investigation L.lawliet, Light yagami, matt, mello and near along with his assistants have transfered to OURAN HIGH SCHOOL! what could possibly go wrong with that! Slight language along with hints of yaoi    enjoy
1. Under cover

**I unfortunatly don't own death note or ouran high school host club :'( sad right? I know... Hope you enjoy :D**

"Must I wear this?" L sighed giving Light pleading eyes and scratching the back of his head.

"It's for the Kira investigation Ryuuzaki, if you want to blend in here, then yes, you're going to have to wear it. Besides, it was your idea to go under cover anyway."

L took the school uniform and both boys parted ways into different cubicles.

"Wow! Ryuuzaki, you look..."

"Comical, I know." The panda faced boy grunted forcing himself to somewhat enjoy the shoes.

Light chuckled "I was going to say handsome, but whatever floats your boat."

"No, put that leg in there!"

"No! I can't!"

"Why are they not tight enough?"

"Shut the fuck up matt!"

Ryuuzaki gave a crooked grin and tapped on the cubicle door with his knuckle. "You two having fun in there?" He mocked.

"Piss off!" an angered yet slightly embarrassed voice demanded through the cubicle door.

Another cubicle unlocked and Ryuuzakis' copy made his way out straightening the tie around his neck.

L gave a 'half assed' smile, "I'm glad you agreed to help us with the investigation BB."

The copy reacted eerie grin, "Anything for you Lawli-pop" He chimed stretching a hand out to 'lawli-pops' cheek, of which L neglected.

A very blank faced albino child made his way into the toilets, over looked by two taller adults.

Light snickered before making his way over to the boy, "Near I think it's best Linder and Gevani stayed back at the apartment, they don't really blend here too much."

Near lifted his finger and entwined it in his hair, "That won't be necessary," He mumbled in absolute monotone, "Agent Linder and agent Gevani will be posing as 1st year math and science teachers."

Light nodded, "Hence the suits?"

Ryuuzaki knocked on the door of Mello and Matt again, "You are aware lessons begin in 13 minutes."

A crash sounded, "I said zip them up, not fucking rip my skin off!"

Everyone stared at the door in silence.

"A-are they dressing each other?" Light asked in slight shock.

Ryuuzaki mumbled something unknown to human ears. A few more minutes were wasted before the students were finally revealed.

L grinned feeling quite pleased. "You two do clean up nicely." Both M's gave each other an awkward look.

Near gave what looked to be the on comings of a smile, "What Ryuuzaki was meant to say was 'you both clean each other up nicely."

The blondes' eyes narrowed, "Oh you do know how to piss me off don't you?" He screamed launching himself at the snowy white boy. Matt reached for his friends' waist and pulled him back, Mellos' cheeks went a pasty pink and he halted, the albino's reaction was little.

L retrieved a carrier bag and opened it, "Okay, all of your clothes in here please. Agent Linder will take them back to our apartment before returning and taking on her position as math teacher."

Everyone shoved there identity's into the clear bag one by one making sure that nothing got mixed up.

"Matt, you can't be smoking in a public school." Ryuuzaki sighed attempting to take away the red heads cigarette.

Mellos' hand stopped the raven haired figure's hands from reaching the boys mouth and he retrieved the cigarette instead.

L took note of the boys.

"You are aware Mello has stopped trying to get Near now aren't you? You can let go of him now."

Both boys blushed slightly.

"If you want," Ryuuzaki continued ruffling the blondes' hair.

"Awh, c'mon Ryuuzaki, boys will be boys, it's not fun to tease them."

BB gave a paedophilic smile, "Boys will be boys" He repeated.

**:B E-mail, Review, and do what ever it is you do best :P**


	2. Welcome to the host club!

Ryuuzaki lead everyone out of the boys toilets, Light, Near and Gevanni to the left of him and Matt, Mello and BB to the other side, Linder was still at the apartment, her shift started later in the day.

"Where' is our first lesson?" Light asked checking his pockets for a time table of some sort.

L looked in pain as he limped towards a door on the right of the hall way. "I don't know," He groaned sitting down outside the door.

"I don't know if you've noticed." He grunted "But I'm not one for wearing shoes."

Light chuckled pulling his companion off the floor, "I kind of guessed."

BB grinned, "I can give you a foot massage if you like." His black hole eyes lit up in a disturbing way.

"That's quite all right." L insisted.

Matt found a lost timetable in his blazer pocket, he lifted the goggles from his head and skimmed it, "First hours a free period, then we all have science in the same class."

L nodded as he removed his right shoe giving his tender feet time to breath.

Near tugged at the sleeve of his 'body guard', "Gevanni," He coughed and corrected himself, "Sensei, you should be getting yourself to the science department to set up."

Gevanni, or now known as Sensei bowed and left down the hall.

Light skimmed the hall with his eyes; he noticed the sign above his head 'music room 3'

"This must be the abandoned music room I've heard people talk about." He stated.

L's eyes lightened "Oh excellent, we can stay here for a while and discuss our plan of action."

Ryuuzaki slipped his shoe back on and slowly opened the door. A rush of scarlet and fascia petals danced out leaving every boy in shock.

"Welcome" A choir of handsome looking young men hummed.

Two pumpkin haired boys turned to each other and shot a disapproving look,

"Looks like we have competition kaoru," He turned to glare at BB and L,

"Oh my," A tall, handsome blonde raised from his seat and pranced across the room studying each of the new comers, "It's like you've been sent here to create rivalry with us..." He trailed off speaking nonsense about host clubs.

The pretty French boy lifted a finger as if he'd just had an idea, "I've got an idea!" He called as a twinkle light up in his eye, "Instead of you being our rivalries we'll take you on as new... members of the host club!"

The boy smiled in delight at his own idea.

Mello burst out laughing followed by matt who tumbled on top of him as they both coiled up on the floor clenching their stomachs.

"Host club?" He took a deep, heavy breath, "What the hell is a 'host club?'

The twins looked at each other again and fixed their hands in a shrugging position, "Didn't his royalty just explain that?"

Light and Ryuuzaki exchanged puzzled looks.

The blonde man began to speak again, "Ouran high school host club is a club for wealthy, handsome boys such as us who have too much time on their hands spend their days making the girls of the school who also have too much time on their hands happy..."

Mello pushed himself off the floor and pulled his friend up with his, "So what you're saying is, you snobby rich bastards neglected by your families spend your time making greedy sluts happy?"

The kira investigation group surrounded Mello and placed their hands over his mouth.

L smiled with a sincere look, "I'm sorry, we've only just moved over here as part of an exchange program from the UK, so we're not really used to this sort of thing. I'm Ryuuzaki by the way, and these are my allies."

He stepped away from the hormonal blonde and placed a thumb to his mouth, he pointed to the crisp, auburn haired boy known as Light Yagami, "This here is Akeira,"

His hand moved along to the white haired boy who seemed to be exchanging evil glances with a small blonde Lolita boy stood across, "This is my loyal cousin Near, this is Mello this is Matt and this..." He had trouble pin pointing his mirror with his finger,

"Where's BB?" L turned to get a shock from his younger copy who was stood only millimetres away.

The tall blonde waved his hands in the air in a welcoming gesture, "In that case, I'll introduce you to my allies too."

Everyone towards the back turned to each other and shrugged, had their master just addressed them as 'allies'?

"I am the leader of this here host club my name is Tamaki suoh, also known as 'the princely type'." He grinned seemingly boasting, he approached a young girl, obviously posing as a boy, and squeezed her tight in his arms.

"This is our young apprentice, Haruhi Fujioka," Tamaki released the girl and she gave a sheepish grin towards the opposing boys.

"THIS!" Tamaki announced leaving the other boys mentally face palming their selves "is Kyoya Ootori, you may address him as... 'the cool type'" The black haired boy bowed as his friend swiftly moved on to the pumpkin haired twins.

"These fine young men here are Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin, also known as... 'The little devil type." The blonde released his hands from the boys shoulders as he left both of them symmetrically linked arms and produced some roses from up a sleeve somewhere.

The boy approached the little joy filled boy "This is Mitsukuni Haninozuka,"

"Please call me honey-Chan!" He squeaked, squeezing a pink bunny against his chest, "this is Usa-Chan!"

Tamaki ruffled his hand in the boys' hair, "He is 'the Lolita' type." He smiled and turned to the extremely tall boy stood in his path.

"And last but not least, is Takashi Morinozuka, 'the wild type,' please address him as Mori-sempai"

The host club plastered on a cheesy grin.

The 'kira' group stood gawping at the plastic characters.

Tamaki's eyes lit up again.

"I have ANOTHER idea!" He announced spinning as he made his way over to the other boys, was this guy for real?

Mello rested his head on Matts shoulder, "yeah, I've had enough of this" He mumbled turning and making to make his way out of the door.

Light rushed to pull him back.

"Get your hands off my bitch!" Matt called leaving the members of the host club confused and slightly curious; they were raised in proper homes and had never heard this sort of language.

L almost erupt in laughter at Matts statement but managed to keep himself under control by slouching more and sticking his thumb in his mouth.

Matt shoved Light who went toppling over into a podium holding a very expensive looking vase.

Tamaki pounced to save the antique from shattering but alas was too late... SMASH!

The pumpkin haired twins turned to grin at each other. "Did he just...?"

"I think he did!"

Tamaki laid sprawled out on the floor next to Light who gave a worried expression to everyone in the host club.

A devilish grin stretched out across the twins faces... "Brake the 8,000,000,000 yen vase!"


	3. Say wutt? Not again!

Tamaki rose to his feet and brushed himself off re-gaining his somewhat admirable composure.

Haruhis' eyes widened, she if anyone was to feel sorry for all of the boys as she herself had been through the '8,000,000 yen vase stage'.

The twins still had a content smile stretched from cheek to cheek, "oohhhhh," They hummed wrapping and arm around each other's neck, as Tamaki approached Light/Akeira. He pressed a palm to his fore-head.

Haruhi had previously broken a vase very similar to the one that was there now. Once Haruhi had paid off her debt by requesting 100 members to the host club the members paid out the 8,000,000 yen for a new vase they could auction

"To pay off your debt, you will recruit 30 members to our host club!"

A hum of confusion swept through the room.

"30?" Kyoya questioned, flicking through a black note book that seemed much like the one Light owned... Minus the ability to kill... "But Tamaki-sempai, if I remember correctly, Haru-Chan only had to recruit 100 members!"

Tamaki brushed his hair back with his fingers and gave off an annoyed vibe, "There are only so many lovely young ladies at ouran, so 30 EACH!"

Matt laughed slightly; the thought of Mello flirting with girls was quite an amusing thought.

"What-the-hell!" Mello started, "No way am I entertaining any snobby little girls!" He took half a chocolate bar from his pocket and bit into it, the mini blonde stared at every bite in glee.

Mat squeezed the boys shoulder with his palm, in a 'do it for me' kind of manor; truthfully Matt was going to get some kicks out of this.

Tamaki gave an agitated smirk, "It's not that hard, really..."He felt both hurt and intrigued by the group.

The dark haired boy with glasses proceeded to flick through his book, "Yes, and you can ask for help at any time."

Everyone was starting to get angry and slightly frustrated.

The 'little' boy squeaked in delight, "YAY! Honey-Chan likes new people! Honey-Chan will help you all!" His face resembled a squishy toy. Wait a minute, small, blonde... squeaky voice? This little boy was starting to give the 'Kira investigation force' a familiar feeling

'If I wasn't trying to keep my cover, I'd have the right mind to write each of these posers names in my note book!' Light viciously thought to himself.

Tamaki's feet slapped against the marble floor of the music room as he approached Light,

"Akeira, you from now on will be known as the... 'Good boy type,'" This name completely threw Ryuuzaki off guard, he knew that Light was kira, as much as he'd like to deny that it was too, he was only really tagging along for the satisfaction.

"You, my raven haired friends, will be the..." He thought for a second, "The 'creepy type'" The French avoided eye contact as he moved away to the chocoholic.

"You do realize we're not actually twins." Ryuuzaki informed, he got confused looks from all around the rooms. Everyone actually thought _they_ were twins?

Tamaki turned to them both again, and touched Ryuuzakis' chin with a neat finger, he moved his head from side to side... "Fine, you will be... the 'relaxed type'!"

This guy was getting everything wrong! Ryuuzaki was anything _but _relaxed! He spent every night awake checking for any sudden movement in the 'kira' investigation. And he'd named the biggest serial killer in history the 'good boy' type?

He gazed quickly at BB who still kept his hold of a terrifying smile "You're still creepy" BB gave the blonde an awkward peck on the cheek... Maybe this guy wasn't so bad at labelling after all.

He turned his attention back to the hormonal blonde. "You will be the 'angry teenager' type"

Mello was almost frothing at the mouth, Matt's comforting grip allowed him to keep a hold of himself.

"You shall be the 'gamer' type" Tamaki smiled taking one look at Matt's goggles and DS in his pocket.

He almost didn't notice Near who was tucked towards the back of the crowd fiddling with a little action figure that he'd been keeping in this pocket, Tamaki placed his hand on the boys shoulder, "Hello there," He grinned mistaking the boy for an infant. Near stayed silent and simply glanced at the air head.

"You can be the 'mysterious' type."

Ryuuzaki placed his hand in his pocket, "We could just pay for the vase, we're not your 'commoner' type" L snickered feeling quite pleased with his play on words.

The twins approached the group,"Oh, but where's the fun in that?" Just listening to them was like something from a horror movie.

Light smirked, "It would be interesting to join this group though Ryuuzaki."

L nodded and pushed his thumb in his moth again, "True Akeira, it will also give us a chance to explore the culture of this school..."

There was a short pause; Tamaki skimmed the room with his topaz eyes... "So?"

The host club hovered in anticipation.

Ryuuzaki removed his thumb again. "We'll do it!"


	4. Tamaki you tried

The room was pretty much a death trap for all the guys from the Kira force, being the anti-social bunch they were, all except Light or 'Akeira' who seemed to have the gift of being humble come naturally to him.

"Good morning ma'am, I hope you're enjoying your tea..."

Three girls crowded around one side of the table while Light sat comfortably to his own side resting his hands on his chin. The girls seemed to be paid to pierce through people's ear drums every time a member spoke.

"Okay everyone, we can just sit back here, we'll all observe Light-kun to see what he is doing, this shouldn't be too difficult..." Ryuuzaki said pressing his infamous thumb to his lip making sure not to once take his eyes away from Light who seemed to be gliding through the entertained girls.

Mello sighed loudly and rested his head on Matt's shoulder with his arms crossed, "Waste of my time!" He repeated.

Tamaki glided towards the uncomfortable students with a grin on his face,

"Taking in the scenery?" He asked gesturing a hand to the girls, "They're all quite adorable aren't they?"

Matt glanced at Mello through his goggles with a disapproving snicker.

"Tamaki-sempai..." L started lowering the blondes' hand.

"What is my _panda_?"

L blinked in question at the nick name, but proceeded, "What is it that you all do at a 'host club'?"

Tamaki looked shocked at the question, "Haven't I already answered this? We entertain lovely young ladies of course..."

BB surprisingly chipped in with a comment that didn't involve... well BB's train of thought, "Yes... but how?"

Tamaki's eyes widened, "Well... however you can... follow me!" He snapped a finger acting as if the boys were dogs.

First he took the boys to the blond Lolita boy and the tall slim boy...

"Good~ morniiinnggg" The little one squeaked rubbing his eyes with his right hand as he was perched on the other young man's shoulder,

"Good morning Hunny!" Two girls chimed in unison.

"Sorry I'm late again," He pouted, his well kept blonde hair falling into his eyes "I've just been for a little nap!"

The girls screeched with their hands clutched to their chins.

"No way am I doing that!" Mello snorted, pivoting his heal; Matt stretched out his arm in front of the blondes chest and pulled his shoulder back.

"IDEA!" Tamaki squealed separating the red head and the blonde.

Mello formed an unpleasant growling noise,

"I want you to observe the hitachiin twins; they will show you what to do!"

Tamaki pushed the boys to the pumpkin haired brothers who, just like everyone else had been surrounded by a group of adult-ascent girls.

Both twins had their chins cupped in their hands and had smiles that covered the perimeter of their faces.

"...The guess which one is Hikaru game!"

_What a stupid name for a game, it should be like... guess which one is Hikaru...or die! _Matt spaced out as he imagined the members of the host club wearing Mario suits and carrying big machine guns, _Yeah... that's more like _he smirked and turned his attention back to the brothers.

"Hikaru is the one on the... left!" One girl yelled with glee in her eyes.

The twins smirked at each other and then turned to the girl with an apathetic look, "Better look next time," The one on the right chimed.

The girl pouted,

"What the hell has this got to do with anyone; I mean it's pretty obvious as to which one we are... unless you're a blind dumb-shit..." Matt growled,

Tamaki lifted a finger still smiling in the direction of the twins, "Wait for it..." He mumbled.

"Hikaru." Kaoru turned to his brother, "There's no need to be so stern..."

The first glance Mello took of the look in Kaoru's eye he shielded his face with his hand,

The twins stood up together and Hikaru linked his arm around his brother's waist,

"Make it stoooppp!" Mello groaned "You guys are actually crazy!"

He pulled his tie off and dropped it on the floor before heading towards the door,

"What the hell is everyone taking...?" He trailed off muttering in confusion and anger, Matt quickly caught up with him and pulled the blond back, unintentionally attracting a huddle of girls,

Tamaki gave his usual grin, "I see you are quite protective over Mello-Chan, am I correct?"

Matt looked at the boy who was still in his arms and nodded slightly,

"Your act will be!" There was a short pause "THE ACT OF HATING ONE ANOTHER BUT ALWAYS MAKING UP IN THE END!"

Kyouya slapped his palm to his head and shook it from side to side, "You really should leave this sort of thing to ren-"

His sentence was disturbed by the annoying screech of laughter and the grinding cogs of a 'powerful motor'

The girl was sat on a chair that complimented her in a queen like manor, "Ahhh... new blood!" She chuckled scanning the new boys, "Just what this club needed!" She squinted at Tamaki who bowed his head, worried that the host club was starting to get boring.

"I see that Tamaki-sempai has already had the honour of labelling you all!" She squinted at the blonde once again; Ryuuzaki guessed it was because she knew how badly he had categorized them all... especially him.

Renge's large eyes laid upon the new arrivals as if she was a lion in a Mexican stand-off with an antelope.

"We need to get you all sorted out!"

The boys watched her as she welled up with excitement, he hands clapped together and a lop-sided grin appeared on her face,

"Let's get started!"


	5. Near, you are now a host?

Near was sitting at a table on his own playing with the toy soldiers he had managed to stash away in his blazer pocket. He emitted little sounds of explosions and gun shots every once in a while, but that was all.

"Hello friend!"

Near turned his head away from his toys to see the small blond known as Honey skipping towards him accompanied by Mori.

"Hello." Was his blunt reply.

"You're cute!" Honey chirped, despite the outright oddness of the statement still all he received was a cold, blank stare. "Want a sweetie?" He held out a small neatly wrapped toffee.

"I am quite all right, you're better off asking Ryuuzaki. He does like his sweets."

"You're cute!" Honey repeated.

"Yes. You have already stated that once... may you please leave me alone now? I was rather entertained on my own." The pale boy looked down at the table and returned to his figures.

The blond did the absolute opposite and sat down opposite Near "Sorry can't do. Renge wants you soon, she's giving you all make over's. How fun!"

Near mumbled, deciding to ignore Honey who watched him as he played with his toys.

"Oh so you like toys. I like sweets. Sweets are nice. Aren't they Mori-Chan?"

"Brush your teeth."

"Can I call you Near-Chan? Near-Chan is cute. Like you. You know what... you remind me of a sheep. Sheep are also cute!"

Near shook his head and rose from his seat "I think I'm going for my make over now." He announced twisting a strand of hair irritably in between his index finger and thumb as he made his way over to somewhere where the blond was not.

"Aweh, I think he likes me Mori!" Honey giggled.

"Yeah."


	6. Mello and Matt you might be hosts?

**I can't seem to work out how to type at the—ohh I'm doing it ^-^ I (unfortunately) do not own Mello, Matt the twins or anything else to do with either Anime T^T I know, right? **

**These are just short little snippets of how the guys from death note react to the guys at Ouran :'3 enjoy~**

"You're going to make me wear a dress?" Mello scowled at the girl who was now giggling uncontrollably in her 'throne'.

"But you're so cute! The dress would so totally suit your complexion." Renge screeched, gesturing Kaoru and Hikaru to the changing rooms after offering them the dress Mello was being ordered to wear.

"Am I fuck cute?"

Matt snickered clenching the blonds arm preventing his other from mauling the girl's eyes out. "Mells, denying it only makes it cuter."

The large sum of girls around the two seemed to agree.

"And no fucking way am I letting those pumpkin haired, incestuous creeps change me!" Mello screamed slapping the hands away as they reached for his tie and arms.

Ryuuzaki crouched in the middle of the girls "Don't worry. Mello will be fine as long as Mathew is able to dress him." He assured Renge, smiling a panda like smile as he did so.

Mello shot his deadliest glare at his mentor who mockingly waved back. Matt on the other hand shrugged and agreed to help Mello 'zip up his dress.'

Against his free will Mello was dragged into the changing rooms. He kicked and flapped his arms, swearing and screaming at the twins.

"Got our self a bad egg here Hikaru." The quieter of the twins muttered shrugging as he jerked Mello forward in an attempt to keep him still.

"I know Kaoru. Maybe we should get out the tranquilizers."

Matt shook his head and grinned "You two can stay outside, I'll take care of this." He grabbed Mello by the arm and took the dress into the changing rooms (that seemed to have spontaneously appeared when Renge did.)

The girl's squeed in delight as they gathered around the curtain to listen to the shuffling and the occasional wince of the gamer as he was presumably kicked in the face. The red-head popped his beaten head around the curtain and winked at their audience "We'll be a while."

L managed to sneak his way off into another corner (the four most favoured areas in the room) as rabid girls threw themselves at the changing room.

The twins were stood to one side scowling behind the mob of customers.

"Even more competition." They seethed.

**Thanks for reading, comment, review ( wait aren't they the same thing?) and even maybe, maybe drop me a little message, neh?**


	7. Yagami can only be the best sometimes

"My, my." Tamaki stated watching Light as he gracefully weaved his way through customers.

"Quite the fetch isn't he?" Kyouya asked as he joined his 'husband' "You should be jealous..."

Tamaki scoffed "What on earth for? I will remain the number one host for all eternity!"

Kyouya patted he friend on the back and Tamaki's pretty face dropped. "Good luck with that..." and with that, the sane member of the host club turned and left leaving hopeless Tamaki Suoh and Haruhi Fujioka to watch the new addition.

"Kyouya is just trying to scare me." He grabbed the petite brunette girl beside him by the shoulders "Right Haruhi?"

Haruhi stifled her laughter behind her hand. "Right."

"You have... little faith in me don't you? I'll show you!" He announced storming into the crowd of rabid fan girls.

'_3'_

'_2'_

'_1'_

Haurhi sighed, beckoning the blond as he stumbled out in defeat "He's a natural!" He cried sobbing into her shoulder as she petted his hair.

"Aweh! Look at Tamaki and Haruhi!" One girl called pointing the herd in the direction of the hugging two. Light frowned when he saw the divert of attention. _Maybe I should just kill him here and now... I will be the leader, of the new host club!_


End file.
